Why won't answer me? Your silence is slowly killin' me.

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i bullshit, i talk crap

dylan alice janice adlina gyz lim pavan matthew

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January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 December 2009 January 2010 July 2010 June 2011

I wish i can turn back in time. Even if that's possible. I want it the way it used to be. I want to see your smile, hear your laughings, listen to all craps you will say. It's been days you seem clueless or is it emotionless? Or what is the word to express. If i did anything wrong, i'm sorry. But, will you forgive me and turn back time with me too? Being just friends with you will be okay. I'll be satisfied. I do believe in destiny and fate, and i won't go against it unless i really have to. I can't seem to find a way to approach you neither through sms or face-to-face conversations. Knowing you might not see this, but still i want to say because this is the only place i confess. I wish, i pray to see your smile. A smile might do, and i'll know things are all right. Please smile. I miss you.

I realize my previous blog had lots of typing errors. lol. Friends. How do you define the word friends? Friends in need are friends in did? Is it right or wrong? What friends actually like? Do i have a few or many and does that even matters after all? I guess i do have a few. What about others? Am i changing or are they changing? Or neither one is. The ones who help regardless of anything? The one who uses you when you are useful, and you will soon turn up to be a fool? It's seems like, they always have fun and i'm just looking from afar. That doesn't matter i guess? What are friends? What will happen in 10 years time? We bump into each other but just smile as an acknowledgement. 20 years, looking at each other in deep thoughts wondering do we even know each other? 50 years time. Who the heck you are? Maybe that happens when you completely lost contact? And then those friends we had in school were be claimed as just, schoolmates? The friends we'll be having are the ones we met later after school years or at work? What are friends?

I blog for fun now. It has been dead for so long. I'm back with my old self. That's why i'm typing here. It been a rough path, i walked. And now, i could barely talk. I've gone to another way, it seems to be better. I changed not because of anything, or maybe something. It's almost the end of June, the other half is coming. I'm doing nothing. I either eat a lot or not at all.

She. The story is no long the same. She, i'm not sure of what's in her mind now. She, doesn't speak to me any more. She, barely smiles at me. It's my fault, i shall not deny. Now that i smile, she has no response neither. In this case, i would rather avoid. I would rather be invisible. I would do anything to not make her feel guilty or maybe she doesn't feel that at all. I have no clue.

i.wished.i.was.never.in.love.
hoping.things.would.stay.the.same.as.it.used.to.

1st bon odori canceled, then JB trip canceled. wtf. it should be a full entertainment weekend. all spoiled by my good father. damn. he never fails to spoil my plans. he says/promise things could barely/hardly/NEVER happen/fulfill. i don't understand him. i don't wish to understand him any further. seriously, i'm done with him. body kits on cars shouldn't be called as spoilers, he is my spoiler.=) i'm going nuts. *sighs* ciao~

bye bon odori :'( lonely friday. early nite. long way to go. hair trimmed. for nothing. maybe going JB this sunday. maybe not. my father bomb a lot. songs in my head 24/7 365=) happy birthday to my mother. i ♥ her. that's all for today. long boring day tomorrow. ciao~

FMFL. FUCK.MY.FUCKING.LIFE. okay. now i'm not sure if i ever get to watch Despicable Me. eventually wanted to go to Bon Odori. fyi- japanese fest. then, maybe coz of my results, i get stupid response from my father upon asking permission or some sort la. saying,"aiya, no need go one la". i was like wtf? are u kidding? me n' my friends planned n' now u fucking tellin' me this?o.0 damn. this is seriously screwing my life. n' now how the heck am i gonna answer my friends tomorrow. wait till next year? damn la. i was like excited ever since i heard bout Bon Odori which i never been before. then, my father can say, "it's all japanese, what u gonna do?" darn it. i sensed it right from the beginning of the year. my year would sucked.

i'm back? after 1/2 year? long time never blog also dunno how to blog already. how have it been for the past 6 months? hmmm... school, exams, school, carnival. piercings. etc. too much to recall, too much to say, too little time to write. time flies. time speeds. after 6 months n' i'm still the same, only going from bad to worst.=) i'm gettin' old. gettin' motor license soon. n' i will be free. i guess? nahh. kinda bored of my daily routine. this what i always thought all the while. studies? no comment. currently, i'm going crazy wanting to watch Despicable Me. almost everyone watched except me.>< if i didn't get to watch this show on cinema, i will seriously go crazy.=) that's it i guess. ciao~

p.s- english language kinda sucked lately=(

p.p.s- blogging sucked

p.p.p.s-it's random=)