Why won't answer me? Your silence is slowly killin' me.

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i bullshit, i talk crap

dylan alice janice adlina gyz lim pavan matthew

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January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 December 2009 January 2010 July 2010 June 2011

hi viewers/humans or should i say earthlings.... it's been days i didn't blog... i didn't really have the mood to do things... seriously... i'm in a not-so-good mood this few days... don't ask me why.... sometimes, i prefer not to voice out but write out... when i speak, people tend not to listen... they find that it's difficult listening to what i'm trying to say or i'm just plain annoying.... i might as well be an EMO... i will have my own world, i suppose... i've noticed, in my class, there's no difference whether i'm around or not... people won't even notice if i'm missing... there will be a hi to me but no bye..... hi only when it's necessary... got me?? no?? forget it.... i'm no more as lively as i used to be... not-so lawyer buruk... the older i grow, the more i realized things in life, my life.... i still have no plans for future... not even for PMR... or will i further my studies... or what's my real ambition... if i fail to realize my dream, what am i suppose to do?? i have been questioning myself.... when ever i'm studying... i can't absorb much... is my soul always in me or it have been roaming around all time?? when i started my blog, i was not like this... do you notice??? i dunno... people may call me EMO but i don't think i'm an EMO just yet... what will happened tomorrow??God knows.... everything... my expiry date(not so fast i guess) okay.. i have not been writing about what happen in my life outside... lively side, i guess... so, it was yesterday... went to kl to pray ancestors... left kl by evening... my father was sleepy and he ALLOWED me to drive on the highway... so i promised him that i will drive in the speed of 100 or 110 km/h... but.. i COULDN'T resisted... so i drove 140km/h... that's it coz he was staring after he woke up... LOL. then, came a police outrider on the 1st lane.... i slipped into the 2nd lane and released the accelator.. thank God.. he didn't stop me... i'm lucky i suppose.... all the way to melaka... upon reaching my home.. there's a road block... thank goodness he let me pass.... back home then... in one piece.... seriously.. i need a person who can change me... that's it for now, i guess... ciao~

1 week gone.... holidays gone.... they're dead n' gone..... i'm moving on my life.... as usual... if you read my previous blogs, you will know what will i be doing this week.... my life's boring!!! trust me, you can't survive an hour of my life but maybe a minute.... thank God i got no tuition all this while until now... what will happen tomorrow or in the future??? God knows..=D whatever i do.... it's like according to a timetable... cool huh?? lame huh??? so which????LOL.... i dunno...=) i never think that i have enough time a day..... what if i have to go for tuition?? i will be "dead" for sure.... slow coach like me never or should i say, hardly get things done in time... that's why i say, i move my life with a life-long timetable... there are many undone things to be done.... seriously!! i got no idea how to start my work....oh damn it... my mind's getting slower as though i'm already old.... indeed i'm growing older, but i didn't expect that i'm growing "OLDER".... i'm lazy i suppose.... i think too much... of rubbish huh??ya, my life's a joke..=P tomorrow's a school day n' i'm missing my holidays... WTFish right?? that's normal la....XD i really don't wanna grow up....XP all i can say is, "live ur life!!oh yeah!!"??? okays... i'm done... fed-up already.... with my life??attitude?? everything....=| that's it i guess.... ciao peoples~~

i'm full of problems... what problems do i have?? many, that's it... sounds few huh??i dunno.... i got troubled thoughts.... love??? i dunno... i seem to have loads of problems but i can't figure them out.... sometimes it's hard to explain through words or voice out.... there are many obstacles in life which i think i can't make it through.... i thought of committing suicide.... but i'm afraid of pain... don't laugh... i know you're laughing.... damn you!!! compare to a broken hurt that's nothing actually, but you may hurt people around you... i don't wanna be a fishmonger... get it?? you're smart, you sure know.... love got many people emo... i'm afraid i'm which i don't wish to.... talking about love... i still dunno what's love all about..... is that just lovin' each other??that simple?? i don't so... why? i also dunno.... i'm blogging this coz i really got troubled thoughts.... i won't be explaining that clear coz i'm blur... plain blur... i need miracle for love.... fengshui master said that i will get married by the age of 18/19..... believe it or not??? i do quite believe in what he said about my past... but i'm not sure about this....haha... what about studies?? oh that i can't cope... i gotta start tuition.... i guess.... especially maths n' science... i felt stupider each year.... my grades are dropping like mad only.... i got phobia man...... but when comes to studies, i got nothing to blog actually..=D i dunno why...haha... that's it la... ciao~

i haven't update my blog for days... was very busy la..... monday went kl, jalan jalan lo.... times square, pavillion, klcc..... all by public transport lo... quite fun actually la....=) came back late at night, so didn't blog lo... then tuesday, stupid streamyx... what a coincidence the internet not working..=.=" can't do research...(for folio la, just wanna make it more pro so wrote that lo) time was short that day actually.... quite a rush coz got a badminton game at 6 o'clock... had dinner early... damn early... guess what??!! no chinese restaurant open just yet... so went mamak shop to eat....LOL!!!! after that, went home... waited not long... went for badminton... game ended early coz court booked from 6.00p.m.-8.00p.m. came back also early... father steamed fish with nyonya sauce... syok man... haha... so intended to go kl again today... but then, my friend got no transport... i also don't feel like going to kl too... so, went out with friends watched 2 movies... cool huh??LOL.... WATCHMAN & DRAGONBALL.. hahha.... watchman was goddamn sick... the whole damn show is like referring to a journal... full of SEX SCENES.... oh gross!! we also didn't watch the whole movie, we terus cabut towards the end.... can't tahan.... many people cabut too... so we were not the only one....LOL!!!! dragonball is much better la... anyway i hate telling synopsis.... got check it out yourself... haha.... BUT!! DON'T WASTE YOUR MONEY WATCHING watchman!!!! lame show..... freaking hours some more....T.T now... here i'm blogging..=.= that's all for today... ciao folks~

today, holiday started.... happy holidays!!!=.=" lame huh... well.... i haven't plan for this week's holiday... ya, 1 week holiday.... short huh... ya, DAMNNNNNNN short... if plan works, will be going to kl on monday... jalan jalan.... not shopping but window shopping... what to do... people like me pokai fella... haha.... tuesday start doing folio(s) geo, and history.... then, maybe study la.... i realize what are the consequences for not studying at all before exam..... but that wasn't my 1st time.... hehe.... no point realizing without waking up..... will i catch up for PMR??? i'm still not sure about it... will help me through this year??? who will that person be???haha... i haven't use this "phrase" or "quote" for a long while.... -idontwannagrowup!!!!!!!- seriously.... growing up is ain't easy... grow older, more worries... who agree with me??? read this.....LOL.... u agreed...=.=" i dunno what i blog just now.... seriously.... haha... don't believe, never mind..... tired, brain not functioning well so, ciao~

exam's over..... just like after havin PMR... everyone's sooooo happy....LOL!!! pressure's on.... kinda wondering what am i getting for my results.... never study at all..... DAMN!!! 3 days of torture.... finally over.... kinda happy, kinda worried.... happy coz exam's over, worried about the results.... so, today's exam ended at 12 o'clock... what else? ponteng class la... went to 3a1.... their teacher came in..... asked all students to sit down... i sat... she saw me... didn't know i was from another class.... haha... but.. she chased my classmates.... all of us was damn!!!! n kept on laughing non-stop.....LOL.... so i continue sitting in that class, chit-chat..... then, when i heard my english teacher came.... so ran 1 BIG round as though i just came back from the toilet when the both classes are just side-by-side.... =.=" nothing happened when i went into the class.... later on, she went out again... so i went over to 3a1 again... for fun...=.="""""" haha..... until school dismiss....;D what a day huh.... haha.... tomorrow going for another badminton....=) i start to lurve badminton...lol... okay la... that's it for today..... ciao~

tomorrow's exam including the day after tomorrow and the following day.... 3 days.... exam only what... what's the big deal??!!! nehh... indeed a BIG deal after all.... i did not do any revision... pro leh??? pro my head la.... tomorrow having english, history, bc(not taking) and moral.... tomorrow night going for badminton game some more... lagi pro... i guess others will be at home busy studying or tuition centre..... this week maybe nothing for me.... but i will soon be as good as dead upon receiving those exam papers.... my maths and science will be a failure..... i dare not imagine.... really... DARE not.... i will have to get maths and science tuition... what to do.... PMR year o... die la... so for this week, die die also must try my very very best.... and gotta depend on luck for certain subjects... hopefully la... this time won't drop class if i get bad results... better still if the results will be a satisfying one... gotta pray hard this time.... damn hard..... wish me luck then for those who read this...=)thankyou.... ciao~

hi!halo!hello!hola!aloha!
i'm..... erm..... i dunno..... i'm bored.... the whole day.... i wanted to study but i didn't.... in fact, i used the computer almost the whole day..... father went to kl again.... this time, he left a set of keys.... i'm free.... so i went cycling late evening.... cool weather... until it rains.... wtf.... yesterday's blog... obviously lame.... me asking me questions.... if i were to ask myself again..... it would still be the same.... same questions n answers..... i dunno.... actually, i'm still wondering... what i want for my future??!! i dunno.... the only problem i'm facing now is my school work, exams... damn MATHS..... mate mati(matematik).... my brain's getting slower n slower.... seems like i'm becoming more n more stupid..... i'm soooooo gonna die.... next week's exam n yet i'm still wondering.... without an aim.... guess what... i'm still going for badminton game... twice!!! on the examination week.... right now... my mind's blank..... i'm writing without thinking.... so excuse me...=) how am i gonna spend the rest of my life??!!! i dunno..... i have been saying i dunno for the past few days...... i dunno seems to solve many things..... in fact.. the sentence "i dunno" is meant to avoid issues..... obviously i'm avoiding various issues..... somehow.... political issues are interesting.... that i can't deny... especially malaysia's politics.... it's sooooo dramatic.... i love it.... looking at politicians acting crazy, childish.... LOL.... i'm tired..... i just wanna stop here..... ciao~

what are you doing now? i'm blogging....
what are you thinking about?err.... many many many.... things...
what's your aim???i got no aim... aimless....
what should you be doing now?study or folio.....
are you doing it?obviously no..... i'm blogging... duh...
why didn't you study or do your folio?i dunno.....
who are you thinking at this very moment?i can't tell.....
heard that your test's next week, true?yesh....
are you prepared?no....
are you afraid?i dunno....
where are you?at home....
am i asking too many questions?yesh... and they are DAMN LAME!!!!
you got any soulmate/girlfriend?currently no...
wooing any?yesh...
she knows?yeah....
she accepts you?i dunno.....
got any good friends???i dunno who am i to them....
you sit with who in your class?no one...
why?i dunno.....
don't you feel lonely?sometimes..... but sometimes it's peaceful...
what are you going to do tomorrow?i dunno... all i know is, i will be at home alone.....
alone?yesh.... duh.....
does your life suck?ahbutthen...
so you were never satisfied??yesh.... who satisfied??
you are currently livin with?my father....
in good terms?i guess so....
then what you do during your free time?computer, sleep..... i'm lazy....
are you tired?yesh... physically and also your lame questions....
ok then... thanks for your time.... -you are welcome.... get lost!!!!

i'm confused.... i'm stupid.... i'm going bonkers.... i dunno... i dunno.... i dunno what am i doing..... or am i doing the right things or taking the right steps..... i talked to her..... it was like.... for 5 months we didn't talk... and out of the sudden i talked to her.... we both acted like nothing happened before this.... i'm damn confused.... shouldn't i talk to her??? did i make any mistake?? i dunno... i really dunno.... i still can't forget her.... i really? i dunno!!! next week's exam.... i'm dead for sure...... DEAD!!!!! oh damn.... what i've done???? was it all right?? or alright????? i'm gonna break down n cry...... I DUNNO!!!!!!!!! DAMN MAN..... i just dunno how to carry on my life...... really... i dunno....

it's all started from yesterday.... i woke up in the morning.... when father's on the way to KL, washed up. etc... thought of walking in the house compound... went searching for the house keys.... couldn't find... called my father, he took the keys!!! both sets, left me none!!!! i was "locked up" then.... much better than a prison la... better environment... LUCKILY la... got people bungkus for me....=) my cousin bro.... kena pass through the window..=.=" weather was fine.. until late afternoon.... Dark Clouds.... thunder... Rain Drops....... didn't intend to use the computer any longer.... shut down... plugs removed.... texting later on, sitting on the sofa... then... came ... the.... mighty.... (soooo dramatic, but it's true) lightning!!!! (it was that colour, not like we used to color it in yellow..) it struck my house's elcb... power tripped... i saw the lightning!!!! it was just a few metres infront of me..... i was in the shock and let go my handphone.... HOLY GRACIOUS..... THANK GOD!!! lucky huh?? so, people out there!!! treasure your life....... i nearly died....=) cool.... life goes on.... that's it folks... ciao~