Why won't answer me? Your silence is slowly killin' me.

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i bullshit, i talk crap

dylan alice janice adlina gyz lim pavan matthew

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January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 December 2009 January 2010 July 2010 June 2011

I wish i can turn back in time. Even if that's possible. I want it the way it used to be. I want to see your smile, hear your laughings, listen to all craps you will say. It's been days you seem clueless or is it emotionless? Or what is the word to express. If i did anything wrong, i'm sorry. But, will you forgive me and turn back time with me too? Being just friends with you will be okay. I'll be satisfied. I do believe in destiny and fate, and i won't go against it unless i really have to. I can't seem to find a way to approach you neither through sms or face-to-face conversations. Knowing you might not see this, but still i want to say because this is the only place i confess. I wish, i pray to see your smile. A smile might do, and i'll know things are all right. Please smile. I miss you.

I realize my previous blog had lots of typing errors. lol. Friends. How do you define the word friends? Friends in need are friends in did? Is it right or wrong? What friends actually like? Do i have a few or many and does that even matters after all? I guess i do have a few. What about others? Am i changing or are they changing? Or neither one is. The ones who help regardless of anything? The one who uses you when you are useful, and you will soon turn up to be a fool? It's seems like, they always have fun and i'm just looking from afar. That doesn't matter i guess? What are friends? What will happen in 10 years time? We bump into each other but just smile as an acknowledgement. 20 years, looking at each other in deep thoughts wondering do we even know each other? 50 years time. Who the heck you are? Maybe that happens when you completely lost contact? And then those friends we had in school were be claimed as just, schoolmates? The friends we'll be having are the ones we met later after school years or at work? What are friends?

I blog for fun now. It has been dead for so long. I'm back with my old self. That's why i'm typing here. It been a rough path, i walked. And now, i could barely talk. I've gone to another way, it seems to be better. I changed not because of anything, or maybe something. It's almost the end of June, the other half is coming. I'm doing nothing. I either eat a lot or not at all.

She. The story is no long the same. She, i'm not sure of what's in her mind now. She, doesn't speak to me any more. She, barely smiles at me. It's my fault, i shall not deny. Now that i smile, she has no response neither. In this case, i would rather avoid. I would rather be invisible. I would do anything to not make her feel guilty or maybe she doesn't feel that at all. I have no clue.

i.wished.i.was.never.in.love.
hoping.things.would.stay.the.same.as.it.used.to.